Gita 3/21

यद्यदाचरति श्रेष्ठः तत्तदेवेतरो जनाः। 

स यत्प्रमाणं कुरुते लोकस्तदनुवर्तते।।२१।।

This verse 21 of Chapter 3 of Gita says :

Two kinds of people are there, in this world. The average mediocre, and the noble. The mediocre, the common man lives guided by the simple animal instinct of the sheep, while a noble, a great one, a leader is guided by either by the insight, ideals or the understanding. Again, the insight, ideals or the understanding is a result of social conditioning where one is born. Accordingly, the common man and the so-called noble too follow the usual way of thinking, following one's insight ideals or the conditioning acquired from the environment and the society where one is born and is brought up. While the noble has a way of doing the things in one's own way, the common man looks for guidance from whosoever one thinks are fit to be followed. These noble could be either the leaders or the motivators, either the religious, socio-political or the historical characters as well. Following a person howsoever Great or a successful one does not mean that the follower is going to achieve the ideal or the success but may be only a convenient way for the time being, and though ultimately result in even as much a big or Great trouble in the future which one can't see presently.

So far so good.

One can even try to find out through the books and the scriptures as well or some Guru in one's own tradition, religion or the cult, which is just another kind of a society.

For essentially, the mediocre, a common man lives by the habits one has acquired from the environment, conditioning and the sheep-instinct.

Once this happened :

I used to go to such a so-called religious, spiritual Guru, though I was neither his devotee or a follower. I never thought he might be such a noble one. He didn't look even an educated one.

I found his roadside shop where I would stop for a tea and to relax and to sit for a while while going through there.

He was not very talkative and mostly he  would sit just silent, keeping himself to his business.

After two or three such meetings when we become acquainted to one another, he started to gossip a bit.

Occasionally there would be some other people also but never more than two or three like me. I would often go there with my friend also. The shop-owner would rarely show any interest in our talks and would so as to say, ignored too what we were talking about.

I and my friends too were quite ignorant and unaware of the relationship between a man and a woman, be it the love, the  emotional, sentimental or the sexual or the formal that happens in the society. Though we too had our mother, sisters and other females in our family we had never a problem in dealing with them, as it was so from the very beginning of our birth. Accordingly we had unconsciously learnt how to behave and to follow the manners at all times. I would often go to my friend's place, as he too would come to my own. We would call one another from the outside and rarely we had to enter the house. Only after two or three years we learnt the names of the sisters. Like me (as I felt) his sisters too were too like the common girls and though after some time we were informal and has no hesitation any in speaking and behaving with them suitably in a proper way. We would even see them occasionally on the road but the matter would end up there only. 

Coming back to tea-shop.

After about an year or so, when I was with my friend, we saw for the first time a woman and a girl in the shop. Maybe, a relative or a family person. The woman was shop-owner's wife and the girl might be his sister, we thought.

Though we liked them, it was just formal and neither me nor my friend ever talked of them.

The woman would rarely come there and the girl would even less. Usually only the shop-owner would be there. By now he was aware what we two friends discuss and he started showing a bit of interest in our conversations.

We were talking about though in hushed tones. It was about the sex-urge and the relationship problem. We were unable to understand what might be the role of the sex-urge in the love-relationship between a man and a woman.

Because of the social conditioning it was such a taboo for us and we were just too much overwhelmed about this. This was sure really an issue we had to face and to deal with it.

There was a mysterious smile on the face of the shop-owner. He looked indifferent, but might be thinking about us and what we might be talking about. 

"I can say, you both are of the age of my younger brother, but we could be friends too and maybe, like an elder brother we can perhaps discuss your problem and I can help you in this matter, only if you can talk to me frankly, honestly without hesitation."

He said.

We, both of us, of the twenty years of age were startled a bit but didn't say a word. Taking our silence for a "yes", he started. 

"May I ask you a very personal question? Please don't shy away, feel disturbed or agitated even a little bit if you just don't know how to answer my question."

We both were still silent.

Without looking at our faces, he kept on doing his job, arranging the mugs, cups and glasses putting them in their proper place. Then he said  in a warm, but also in a cool voice : 

I can say, you know what is meant by the word "masturbation". Maybe, you have not heard this word and so you may not know the meaning too and without even knowing it you might be doing it with a sense of guilt, shame, with an aggressive revolt too, arrogance or with pleasure, fear and or joy too. Maybe, you condemn Yourself very often might have tried the so-called religious and spiritual ways of  overcoming this but till now could never succeed."

He didn't look at our face or in eyes.

After a silence of a minute, he casts a casual glance over us and started to say again. 

You know, it's not natural. Just because except the man, no any other living being indulges in such an activity.

This doesn't mean it is to be condemned  either. One has to understand the role of imaginative and verbal quality of man, that has evolved in him during the whole past millennia's time.

The very imaginative and verbal faculty of the mind of man has corrupted him in such a way that he has made this issue into a mental one.

First you, prompted by the sheer urge get an erection then start fondling, enjoying, caressing your organ and an arrives an excitement that overwhelms you. After a climax you just find a sudden unexpected release. It's like a joke. Just like one when someone tells you a joke.

In the beginning your whole attention is focused on the narration. You become curious, fascinated, greatly interested. You are already very tense in a sense. Your attention is centred totally around the story. In the end however, in quite an unexpected moment this extreme tension comes to its end and in a split second it is released. Just as no one can ever enjoy the same joke again and again, this too is like a sick, silly joke only. Once, if you understand the trick, the joke and know how you've become a victim of your own stupidity, you realize there is love of the pleasure associated with the inherent pain that you are caught into because of your own fault. Then you know, running after pleasure, live if the pleasure is the most stupid way of living the life. Then you know, become aware that the true love can never result into pain. Then you know sexual urge us but Nature's own way of procreation and it rewards you greatly for participating in this Great act of helping it in keeping the continuity of life and existing for ever in many species, forms and kinds.

Then arises in you the compassion for the others who are hardly aware of this whole drama played by the Nature and enacted by all those who take part in it."

So,  what about all this talk of glorifying  the "ब्रह्मचर्य' / "Celibacy"?

"That is perhaps even far more a stupid way of dealing with this Nature's gift of Life.

You know, in our very own times there have been two glaring examples of this :

One was, a Mahatma and another was a Modern Thinker, Philosopher and a so-called Spiritual Teacher who showed us how to attain  समाधि / amAdhi through sexual intercourse.

Both contemplated, explored and tried to Experiment with it in their own way, just to amuse, entertain and confuse the lots of the people more and more all over the world. 

We two friends were just listening, too absorbed and deeply immersed in this cool chat.

Thereafter though we often discussed this with our friends, but as it always has been very difficult to begin a talk on such a Taboo, a subject, we never tried to convey this understanding to others.

***